Ten Cognitive Distortions Holding Leaders Back and How To Fix Them
- Fern Beauchamp
- 1 day ago
- 8 min read
Ever walked out of a meeting replaying every word, convinced you blew it - despite evidence that it actually went fine?
Or found yourself lying awake at 3 am, catastrophising about a feedback conversation you need to have?
Those moments are often less about “poor performance” and more about the noisy negative thinking patterns, known as cognitive distortions, playing over and over in your head.
Curious about the ten cognitive distortions holding leaders back and how to fix them? This article lifts the lid, shows you how to name them, notice them, and start changing them.
Contents
What Are Cognitive Distortions in Leadership?
Cognitive distortions sound technical, but everyone, including leaders meet them every day.
They are the mental “shortcuts” that contort how you see yourself, your team and your results.
Rooted in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), cognitive distortions are thinking patterns like “If this isn’t perfect, it’s a disaster,” or “One mistake proves I’m not good enough”.
These patterns often operate unconsciously, fuelling self-sabotage in leadership roles.
Studies show these patterns are strongly linked to stress, anxiety, job satisfaction and burnout in leaders.
They are not a sign of weakness; they are part of being human. Yet left unexamined, distortions can fuel impostor feelings, erode trust, undermine relationships and drain your well-being as a leader.
Reflecting on cognitive distortions - as we do in our flagship Leadership Group Coaching Programme EMPOWER - allows you to see and name the pattern, understand its impact, and deliberately choose a better response. This is where leadership coaching on cognitive biases becomes a powerful lever for sustainable leadership development.
Ten Cognitive Distortions Holding Leaders Back
Here are the ten most common cognitive distortions leaders encounter – and the straightforward moves that help you spot and shift them.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
This is the “perfect or pointless” mindset.
How it shows up:
“If I’m not the best in the room, I’m failing.”
“That presentation didn’t land perfectly, so it was useless.”
Impact: Fuels perfectionism and impostor feelings (“anything less than 100% proves I’m a fraud”), and makes it hard to see progress or learning.
How to fix it:
👉 Spot it in the moment. Notice phrases like "total failure", "perfect or pointless", or "all good or all bad".
👉 Then, scale it - rate the situation realistically. Ask: "If 0 is disaster and 10 is perfect, where does this actually sit? What evidence puts it there (not lower, not higher)?"
This simple move helps leaders reframe cognitive distortions they hold about performance.
Overgeneralisation
Here, one event becomes a sweeping rule.
How it shows up:
“I got challenged in that meeting; I’m terrible at influencing senior stakeholders.”
“This team missed a deadline; they’re unreliable.”
Impact: Narrows your options, locks people into labels and strengthens impostor stories based on very thin evidence.
How to fix it:
👉 Catch the language. Notice words like "always", "never", "every time", or "typical".
👉 Label it. "This is overgeneralisation talking" and deliberately look for counterexamples. For example, ask yourself, "When has this gone differently?", "Is this really every time, or just this one? What are three specific times it went differently?"
👉 List them to break the pattern.
Mental Filtering and Ignoring the Positive
Zooming in on one negative detail and filtering out neutral or positive data.
How it shows up:
Remembering only the tough question you couldn't answer from a presentation you gave, forgetting all the nods of support. Dismissing positive feedback as “they’re just being kind”.
Impact: Keeps confidence low even when the external evidence is strong, which is a classic pattern in impostor feelings.
How to fix it:
👉 Use a “balance sheet”. Note down what went well? What was challenging? What did you learn? Over time, this trains the brain to take in positives instead of swatting them away.
Jumping to Conclusions (Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling)
Assuming you know what people think or predict the future without solid data.
How it shows up:
😵💫 Mind-reading: “They must think I’m out of my depth.”
🔮 Fortune-telling: “This change will never work; the team will resist.”
Impact: Drives defensiveness, over‑explaining, or avoidance – which then creates the very reactions you feared, undermining trust and relationships.
How to fix it:
👉 Separate fact from story. Write: What I know for sure (observable data) vs. What I'm assuming. For example, "Boss was quiet in the meeting" (fact) vs. "They think I'm incompetent" (story).
👉 Then commit to one clarifying action, like asking for specific feedback, to test the story.
Catastrophising and Minimising
Catastrophising is expecting the worst possible outcome and treating it as inevitable; minimising is shrinking successes or resources.
How it shows up:
“If this project slips, my reputation is finished.”
“Yes, we hit the target, but it wasn’t that difficult.”
Impact: Keeps you in constant threat mode and stops you or your team from feeling any sense of progress or pride.
How to fix it:
👉 Run the "worst/best/most likely" check. Jot three columns - "Worst case", "Best case", "Most likely (with evidence)" - and ask, “How would a neutral observer see this?”
👉 Gather real evidence. Ask: "What's happened before in similar situations? How probable is the catastrophe (0-100%)? What strengths/resources am I minimising right now?" List 2-3 facts.
A leadership coach will also invite you to consciously celebrate wins, which supports a healthier team culture and wellbeing.
Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning says, “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
How it shows up:
“I feel out of my depth, so I must be incompetent.”
“I feel angry, so they must be disrespectful.”
Impact: Emotion becomes evidence, which is a big driver of persistent impostor feelings and reactive conflict.
How to fix it:
👉 Split feeling from fact. Jot two lists: Emotion now ("Anxious about the meeting") vs. Objective data ("Prep done, past meetings succeeded").
👉 Ask, "What would I advise a team member?"
“Should” Statements
“Shoulds” and “musts” are rigid internal rules that often sound virtuous but leave little room for humanity.
How it shows up:
“I should always be in control.”
“A good leader must have all the answers.”
Impact: Creates chronic guilt, shame and pressure; it also sets unrealistic expectations for everyone else.
How to fix it:
👉 Spot the "should". Notice phrases like "I should/shouldn't/must/ought to".
👉 Unpack the rule. Ask: "Where did this come from (parent, past boss, self-expectation)? Is it 100% true or helpful? What if I didn't follow it - what's the actual cost?"
👉 Flip to preference or value. Rewrite as a choice: From "I should never show weakness" to "I value strength and vulnerability builds trust - how can I balance both?" Or "I'd prefer to be prepared, but flexibility matters too".
Labelling
You turn a behaviour into an identity.
How it shows up:
“I’m a failure.”
“They’re difficult.”
Impact: Fixes people in place and kills curiosity and growth. It also strengthens self‑shaming narratives.
How to fix it:
👉 Catch the label. Spot absolute terms like "failure", "idiot", "lazy", or "disaster".
👉 Replace with curiosity and generate alternatives. "What other explanations fit? How would I describe this to a colleague?".
👉 Test and learn. Act on the behaviour level (e.g., give specific feedback instead of a label), then reflect. "What shifted when I dropped the label? Did it open options?".
Personalisation and Blame
Personalisation assumes events are mainly about you; blame pushes responsibility entirely onto others.
How it shows up:
“The team’s morale is low; I must be a terrible leader.”
“My direct reports keep dropping the ball; they’re the problem.”
Impact: Personalisation drives over‑responsibility and burnout; blame undermines trust and learning. Both distort reality.
How to fix it:
👉 Spot the extreme ownership. Notice when you scoop up 100% blame or dump it all outward.
👉 Map the full picture. Draw a quick "causal pie" - list 3-5 factors contributing to the situation (e.g., market shifts, team input, timing, your actions).
👉 Ask: "What % is truly mine to own? What % belongs elsewhere?"
Control Fallacy and Fairness Fallacy
Control fallacy says you are either powerless or responsible for everything; fairness fallacy insists life “should” match your personal standard of fairness.
How they show up:
“There’s nothing I can do; it’s all politics.”
“It’s not fair that they were promoted; I work harder.”
Impact: Feeds resentment, cynicism and disengagement – all of which quietly shape team culture.
How to fix it:
👉 Draw your Circle of Control. Sketch three circles - Control (what I fully own, e.g., my prep), Influence (what I can shape, e.g., team process), Concern (rest, e.g., market shifts).
👉 Place the issue in the right ring. Ask: "Where does this really sit?"
Leadership coaching offers a structured way to spot these core cognitive distortions as they arise, reframe them with evidence, and unlock clearer decisions, stronger relationships, and reduced stress through more reflection.
Why Cognitive Distortions Matter in Leadership
Cognitive distortions are not just “in your head”; they shape behaviour, and behaviour shapes culture. When your internal narrative is harsh, catastrophic or rigid, it is very hard to show up as a calm, trusting and trusted leader.
Trust: Distortions like catastrophising and mind‑reading make you more anxious and less transparent, which teams pick up immediately. Over time, this can reduce psychological safety and honest upward feedback.
Culture: All‑or‑nothing thinking and “shoulds” create perfectionist, fear‑driven norms where people hide mistakes rather than learn from them. This kills innovation and healthy challenge.
Wellbeing: Cognitive distortions drain leaders' wellbeing by keeping the nervous system in constant threat mode - catastrophising spikes cortisol, "should" statements fuel guilt, and labelling turns setbacks into personal shame. Over time, this leads to burnout, rumination and eroded resilience, as distorted thinking amplifies stress while blocking rest and self-compassion.
Cognitive Distortions, Emotional Intelligence and Impostor Feelings
Emotional intelligence depends on self-awareness, awareness of others, and awareness of the situation.
If your thinking is heavily distorted, your “read” will be off, which affects your reactions and the signals you send to your team. As these distortions soften, leaders report feeling calmer, more grounded and more able to respond rather than react.
The same is true for impostor feelings.
The inner voice that says, “You’re only succeeding because of luck,” or “One mistake will expose you,” can be a cognitive distortion; however, it can also stem from systemic biases when you're the only one in the room! In leadership coaching, you can explore the source of impostor feelings, as much of the work is learning to notice the systems around you and the thoughts, naming the pattern, and trying a different narrative.
Final Thoughts
Cognitive distortions are part of being human.
They become a problem when you are fused with them – when “I had the thought” turns into “this thought is the truth”.
Used as a reflective tool in leadership coaching, cognitive biases work; they can accelerate your growth: you see yourself more clearly, you relate to others more generously, and you build a healthier, more trusting culture around you.
The aim is not to eliminate these patterns, but to recognise them quickly and choose how you respond. That choice point is where real leadership development happens.
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