A Leader's Handbook to Active Listening
- Fern Beauchamp
- 15 minutes ago
- 8 min read
How you listen, not just what you say, is one of the most powerful levers you have as a leader.
When was the last time someone truly listened to you?
I mean - no interruptions, no phone checking, no unsolicited advice?
How did it feel? Probably pretty good!
Research suggests that managers’ quality of listening is predictive of employees intention to leave - Rave and colleagues, 2025.
Active listening is a soft skill that can be learnt. It takes a lot of practice. The first step is to notice when you are not listening. This Leaders Handbook to Active Listening explores what active listening is and the active listening skills you can get started with now.
Contents
Active Listening Skills
What Exactly Is Active Listening?
Active listening is a really hard soft skill.
It goes beyond just "hearing" words.
It's about noticing what's not being said as much as what is.
It's about noticing how the words are spoken and the emotion behind them.
An active listening definition from Berkeley Executive Education says:
Active listening is the practice of being fully present in a conversation. Not just hearing words, but absorbing meaning, reading context, and responding with intention.
If you’ve ever left a meeting thinking, "They really got where I was coming from", you’ve experienced active listening in action.
At its heart, active listening is a skill that combines attention, curiosity, and empathy. And, as we'll explore, it also incorporates disciplined self‑management – curbing that urge to jump in quickly with advice or judgment is critical.
Why Active Listening Is Important for Leaders
Only 8% of mid- and senior-level leaders are reported by their employees to be great listeners – LinkedIn and Jacob Morgan
Active listening is not "being nice" on top of the real work of management; it's one of the main ways leaders do the real work.
When people feel heard, they share what is actually happening – not the edited, safe version. Problems surface earlier, and resistance to change shows up as useful information rather than quiet sabotage. Teams are more engaged and move from passive compliance ("I’ll do what you said") to genuine ownership ("I care about making this work"). When team members feel heard, they are more motivated and willing to raise concerns or challenge the status quo.
By contrast, poor listening drives frustration, silence, and passive compliance – exactly the conditions that kill innovation and honest challenge.
Active listening also sends a powerful cultural signal. Who and what you listen to tells everyone what really matters. A leader who consistently makes time to understand diverse perspectives is broadcasting that all voices count. Over time, that shifts culture from "whoever speaks loudest wins" to "the best thinking wins".
Active Listening Skills
Many leaders are curious about what the skills of active listening are, and are often met with long lists. In practice, the core active listening skills for leaders can be grouped into a few core behaviours.
Presence
Put all devices away, turn towards the speaker, and make it visible that you are not multitasking. Presence is the foundation of all other active listening techniques.
Curiosity
Ask open questions instead of rushing to give advice or solutions. Curiosity keeps you in learn mode rather than tell mode.
Reflection
Paraphrase and summarise what you've heard and check it back. This includes not just facts but also emotions. For example: "It sounds like you’re frustrated by the lack of clarity".
Empathy
Actively try to see the situation through the other person’s eyes, even if you don't agree with their conclusions.
Follow‑through
Show that what you heard actually shapes subsequent decisions, priorities, or next steps. Without this, even good listening can feel superficial.
Leaders Handbook to Active Listening: Frameworks
Useful frameworks help turn active listening from a vague intention into a concrete, repeatable habit to use in every conversation. The models below translate the science of listening into simple steps to help shift from "listening to reply" to "listening to understand".
The Three Levels of Listening Model
Jonathan Passmore and other coaching experts describe a practical framework that can be used immediately: The Three Levels of Listening. It can be applied in any meeting, one-to-one, or corridor conversation.
Level 1: Internal listening
At this level, your attention is on you – your ideas, your reactions, your to‑do list, your next clever point or how you’re being perceived. You’re technically listening, but only as a springboard for what you want to say next. You might be nodding, but mentally you’re drafting your reply, judging or planning your next steps…
Level 2: Focused listening
Here, your attention is firmly on the other person. You’re tracking their words, tone, and what matters most to them, asking clarifying questions instead of rushing in with answers.
Level 3: Global listening
At this level, you widen the lens to include the emotional and situational context: body language, emotions, energy in the room, and the broader system around the conversation. You are listening for what is not being said (e.g. body language, mood, gut feel) as much as for the words themselves.
💡 How To Actively Listen Prompt:
In a conversation, periodically ask yourself, "What level am I at right now?" and intentionally shift from Level 1 towards Level 2 and 3.
The AWE Model: A Simple Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier’s work on coaching for leaders centres on taming your "Advice Monster" – the impulse to jump in with solutions. And, instead, lead with curiosity. A simple pattern from his coaching habit is the AWE model: "And What Else?". It’s memorable, helps you stay curious for longer and talk less.
Step 1: "What’s on your mind?"
This opens the space and hands the agenda to the other person. It signals to the other person the agenda is theirs, not yours.
Step 2: "And what else?" (AWE)
This is where the magic happens. "And what else?" gently invites the person to go deeper, to move beyond their first, surface‑level answer. It also signals that you’re not in a rush to close the topic. You can ask it more than once.
Step 3: Focus and close
Follow up with a focusing question such as "What’s the real challenge here for you?" or "What would be most useful for us to decide now?". This helps the person clarify their own insight and potential next steps.
Combined with intentional pauses and reflective summaries, this sequence becomes a very practical active listening strategy in leadership conversations.
Check out The Coaching Habit Questions Summary
Seven Key Active Listening Skills for Leaders
Curious how you can practice active listening daily? You don’t need extra hours; you need small, deliberate shifts in how you use the conversations you already have.
Try these daily listening practices:
Tame Your Advice Monster
Resist the urge to try to be a fixer! Jumping in to solve everyone's problems with your advice monster is annoying and ends up shutting people down. Start with 30 Questions Great Leaders Ask Their Teams
Start practising
Choose a one‑to‑one meeting and let the other person know you are developing your active listening muscle. For that conversation, commit to being fully present and using at least one open question and one reflective summary.
Do a 10-second reset before key conversations
Before walking into a meeting or joining a call, pause for 10 seconds.
Ask: "What does this person need from me?" and "What level am I going to listen at?".
This micro-reset helps you arrive as a listener rather than a rushed problem-solver.
Watch your body language
Good listening is visible. The posture, eye contact, and level of distraction you show will either reinforce or undermine your words. Open posture, regular eye contact, and minimal checking of devices demonstrate respect and attention.
Use the 80/20 rule in at least one one‑to‑one meeting
Aim for the other person to speak for about 80% of the time, you 20%. This is a simple way to turn theory about active listening techniques into a measurable behaviour.
Use Silence: Build a three‑second pause
Being quiet is hard! Silence can give the other person space to finish their thinking. When the other person finishes speaking, silently count to three before you respond. This small pause often prompts them to add something deeper and stops you from jumping in too quickly.
End meetings with a listening question
Ask, “What haven’t we heard yet that we should?” or “Who else do we need to listen to before we decide?” This extends your own listening and encourages the team to think systemically.
These are the kinds of micro habits that make the difference – small enough to do and powerful enough to change how others experience you.
Active Listening Follow-up Questions for Leaders
Sometimes the hardest part of active listening is knowing what else to ask.
The secret is to stay curious.
These are questions you can adapt and try in your next conversation.
❓Clarifying and summarising
"Let me check I’ve understood - the main issue is X, and that is creating Y consequence for your team. Is that right, or have I missed something important?"
🧏🏽♂️ Reflecting emotion
"It sounds like this has been really frustrating, especially the constant changes in direction."
💬 Inviting more detail
"That’s helpful. What else should I know about how this is affecting you or the team?"
✏️Checking your assumptions
"I’m assuming the deadline is the biggest source of pressure here – am I getting that right, or is something else weighing more heavily?"
Each of these is an active listening example that demonstrates presence, curiosity, and reflection. Check out 30 Questions Great Leaders Ask Their Teams
From Individual Habit to Listening Culture
So far, we’ve focused on what you can do as an individual leader. But the next step is to move from personal active listening skills to a wider team or organisational norm - building a culture where active listening is normal. This is where active listening coaching, expectations, and role‑modelling come together.
Consider:
Adjusting meeting design: Build in rounds where everyone speaks without interruption, and give explicit roles (for example, someone to notice who has not spoken yet). You can also explicitly invite quieter voices - "We've heard from X and Y; I would like to hear Z’s view before we decide."
Leadership development: Include "demonstrates active listening skills" in leadership development or training programmes.
Provide "listening feedback": Give specific feedback on listening, not just on presenting or decision‑making.
Over time, the organisation stops seeing active listening as a nice personal trait and starts seeing it as part of how great work gets done.
Active Listening Resources
Because we love nothing more than learning from great leadership books and podcasts ourselves, here are specific active listening recommendations for you to explore next.
🎧 Podcast: What Leaders Get Wrong About Listening
🎧 TedTalk: How to Tame Your Advice Monster by Michael Bungay Stanier
📚 Book: Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind by Nancy Kline
Conclusion: Your Next Small Experiment
So, the next step is practical.
Pick one upcoming conversation to experiment with active listening.
Over time, those small acts become who you are as a leader and create the conditions for people to do their best thinking and best work.
